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  When we reached the steps, I stopped. I listened for the heartbeat I so longed to hear but encountered only silence. I took a deep breath and forced my legs to carry me up the steps to the door. Aaron stopped me as my hand reached the knob.

  “Why don’t you stay out here with Kalia for a moment? Let me look first, that may be best.” He nodded at his wife. She returned the motion.

  “No.” I clenched my fist around the metal knob. “This was all because of me. I have to be the one to deal with it.”

  They both nodded and waited for me to make the first move. I turned the knob and peered inside. The cabin was covered in darkness. I could smell the remains of the fire in the fireplace and the stench of burnt hair. Kalia reached around me to flick on the light. Nothing could have prepared me for the sight we encountered. Ian’s lifeless, headless body lying on the floor was the first thing my eyes rested on and I covered my eyes. No matter what Ian had done to deserve this end, he had still been my first love, and my maker. Aaron’s arm gripped me around the shoulders. I took to a deep breath in hopes of regaining my composure.

  “Um…where is he?” Kalia whispered behind me.

  I lowered my hands. “Where’s who?”

  “Christian. I don’t see him…”

  I looked toward the kitchen doorway where I remembered Christian had fallen. There was nothing there. “I don’t understand…”

  “Wait here…both of you.” Aaron walked toward the kitchen, scanning the area. He looked toward the bedroom but the door was closed. His head turned to the right. “In here…Oh my God!”

  As soon as Kalia released my arm, I ran to the kitchen. I don’t know how I hadn’t heard the sounds coming from Christian’s mouth. He was laying on the floor, curled on his side, his breathing coming in fast, labored gasps. His eyes were wide open and his hands, in tight fists, clenched a kitchen towel. I dropped to my knees beside him, my hand going to his forehead. His skin felt sweaty and clammy, cold. His eyes widened with the feel of my touch.

  “I told you!” I spat. “I knew he was alive. I knew it!”

  “But how?” Aaron’s voice was full of confusion.

  “Aaron, not now…” I leaned close to Christian’s ear. “Can you hear me?”

  “He can hear you, Lily, I’m sure of it. Talk to him.” Kalia’s gentle tone coached.

  “Let’s get him to the bed,” I said turning to Aaron.

  Without hesitating, he dropped to his knees and lifted Christian’s body from the floor. Kalia ran ahead of us to pull down the covers on the bed. I never let go of Christian’s hand as Aaron lowered him to the bed.

  “How much longer?” I asked, wanting desperately for his pain to end.

  “I’m not sure.” Aaron looked at Kalia.

  “It takes about twenty four hours. I’m guessing the rest of the night and most of tomorrow.” Kalia settled in the empty chair next to the bed. “Aaron, can you please take care of the rest? We’ll be out to help in a minute.”

  I didn’t take my eyes off Christian’s pained face as Aaron left the room, closing the door behind him without saying a word.

  “I can’t leave him. I know I should be out there but I can’t…”

  “Lily, honey, it’s supposed to be you but…I’m sure we can make an exception, considering the circumstances. I have one question though.” She leaned forward in the chair, waiting for a response. I turned to her and nodded. “How did you know?” Her voice was gentle, not accusing.

  “I didn’t really know. I only hoped.” I lied. How could I explain what I saw when I couldn’t even make any sense of it? I didn’t want to think about that right now. All I wanted was to focus all my energy on Christian. I wanted to take his pain away. He didn’t deserve any of it. “What’s happening to him?” I ran my hands through my tangled hair. “Is this what I think it is?”

  “His heart is no longer beating so it certainly looks that way,” She stood and walked to the other side of the bed. She sat next to him, taking his other hand. His eyes widened again at the unexpected touch. “I don’t know if you remember what it feels like to die but…”

  “Vaguely. It seems like so long ago. I remember feeling paralyzed. I wanted to cry out for help but couldn’t make anything come out of my mouth. I also remember Ian watching me from across the room but I could do nothing to make him come to me. The more I tried to scream the more it felt like my lungs would explode. I couldn’t move my limbs then suddenly, it all went away. I can’t stand knowing he’s going through this.”

  “There’s nothing you can do but comfort him right now. His organs are shutting down. His senses are changing. You can’t ease the pain but be assured that it will pass.”

  “Before you go…do you think I did this?” I looked at her face.

  “I honestly don’t know, but that doesn’t matter right now. Take care of him. Leave Aaron to me.” She knew why I asked without my having to say it. She knew me so well. She gave Christian’s hand a gentle squeeze before she rose to join Aaron.

  The front door opened and closed with a bang as they took Ian’s remains outside. Guilt filled my body and threatened to overflow. Why did all this have to happen? Why couldn’t Ian just leave me alone? Christian’s fingers twitched in my hand and brought me back to the present.

  “I thought you were dead. I thought you were taken from me forever.” I lay next to him and put my arm across his damp chest. I don’t know why I was surprised not to feel his familiar heartbeat or warmth. I put my lips close to his ear and whispered. “Please don’t hate me for this. I don’t know how this happened but I’m glad. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. I couldn’t stand the thought of going on without you.”

  “Lily?” Fiore called from the other side of the door. “May I come in?”

  “Please.”

  I sat up as she entered the room, leaning back against the pillows, still holding Christian’s hand. Her clothes were torn and dirty, and mud was spattered on her beautiful face. It was hard to think that she had fought on our side, especially considering her true feelings for Ian and the fact that she had aided him in keeping both Christian and me prisoners in Ireland. She rushed to the other side of the bed, her eyes looking over Christian.

  “Aaron told me. He asked me to check on you while they’re outside.”

  “I’m fine. I hate to admit this but I couldn’t be happier about what’s happening to Christian. He was not taken from me after all. How are you? And the others?” I wasn’t really sure I wanted to hear the answer but I asked anyway.

  “I’m okay. I can’t believe how many young vampires Ian made, totally inexperienced, more of an inconvenience than anything. That finally explains what he was doing when he left us. I took care of Fergus. He was more of a challenge than the newborns. Beth is on Ryanne’s trail. Pierce and Riley are still looking for Maia. I came back here as soon as I could.” She explained everything with such calmness, like relating the events of a typical day. “I’m going to see if Kalia and Aaron need some help. Call me if you need me.” She took one last look at Christian’s scrunched face before she left the room with an understanding smile.

  His body was soaked in a cold sweat. Beads formed on his forehead and upper lip. I pulled the covers down to the bottom of the bed before getting up to go to the bathroom for a washcloth. I wet it and returned to the room to wipe the sweat off his face and try to make him as comfortable as possible.

  When I reached the bed and sat down next to him, he had the blanket tucked under his chin. Strange. He couldn’t possibly be coming out of it yet. He shouldn’t be able to move, yet he had sat up and pulled the covers back up?

  Putting that thought out of my head, I set to wiping his face and neck with the cool water. His breathing finally slowed to a more normal pace, not perfect, but better. All I could do now was wait for him to die…again.

  ~ Three ~

  The room brightened and warmed as the sun rose, announcing the start of a new day. Hushed voices came from the living room and
, though I was more than curious to know who was out there, I couldn’t bring myself to leave Christian’s side. His body was still drenched in sweat and his limbs twitched from time to time, but he finally closed his eyes when the light started shining through the window.

  “It won’t be much longer, I promise. I wish I could make it stop. I wish I were the one feeling all the pain. I’m so sorry I can’t stop it.”

  There was a light knock on the door. I didn’t bother getting up this time. Sensing Kalia, I telepathically gave her permission to enter. “I wanted to see how he’s doing.”

  “Better, I think. He’s not breathing as fast. I don’t know if that means anything.” She sat on the bed on his other side and looked at him with a mother’s tenderness.

  “That is a good sign. He’s not feeling as much pain anymore. He seems more peaceful. How are you holding up?”

  “I’ve been better. I have been trying to figure out how this happened but I really have no idea. Ian killed him. He drained him enough to stop his heart. I saw him do it. He never had a chance to do anything to turn him.”

  “Don’t worry about that now,” she interrupted. “There’s no point. When the time comes, we can ask Christian. Maybe he’ll remember something.”

  “What about the others? Did they find Maia?” I sat up, stretching out my tense muscles.

  “They followed her through the forest. One of the newborns caught up and distracted them. When they finally got rid of the newborn, they followed Maia’s scent but lost it at the river.” She stopped and searched my face. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that news. Part of me was happy she wasn’t here but part of me was worried, for Kalia and Aaron’s sake.

  “What about Ryanne?” I asked. I could picture Ryanne’s face the first time I met her, when Ian took me to Ireland as blackmail to keep Christian alive. Ryanne was never comfortable with me and her disapproval always showed. I knew now it was probably because she was helping Ian keep Christian locked up in her basement. She ended up playing babysitter for Ian’s captive and she didn’t like it one bit. She and Fergus no longer had the freedom to come and go as they pleased.

  “She took to the air when Beth had to fight off three newborns. By the time she was able to get away from them, Ryanne was out of sight,” she explained.

  I shook my head in disbelief. Maia and Ryanne were still out there. Fergus was dead and Ryanne was his mate. She was not going to forget that any time soon. I wrapped my arms around my knees and rocked back and forth. Kalia stood and came to my side. She sat behind me and wrapped her arms around me.

  “Don’t worry yourself about any of that. You need to be strong for him now more than ever. He’s going to need you.” She turned her face toward Christian and he opened his eyes. “Oh, he’s waking. I’ll leave you now. If you need me, you know where I am.”

  “Kalia?” I whispered. “Is Aaron angry with me?”

  She laughed softly. “Of course not. He loves you.”

  As soon as she left the room, I looked at Christian. His eyes were open but he didn’t seem alert, so I walked to the window and pulled the curtain aside. The sun’s brightness made me squint and my eyes watered until they adjusted. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular when my eyes settled on the mound of fresh dirt piled in front of a tree. My stomach sank when I realized it had to be Ian’s grave. I gasped and turned away from the window.

  What’s happening to me? Am I dead?

  I was not expecting Christian’s voice so clear in my head. I looked down at him but saw he had not moved.

  Can you hear me?

  Yes.

  My breath caught in my throat. Are you in pain?

  Not much…anymore. I can’t move. I want to get up but I can’t move anything. What’s happening to me?

  I sat back on the edge of the bed. His eyes were open so I turned his face toward me so he could see me. He closed his eyes against the light. Your body is shutting down, dying. You’re going to be able to move again soon, I promise.

  I hadn’t shut the curtain in my haste to get away from the sight of what had to be Ian’s grave. I stood to go back to the window and closed it, and darkness covered the room once again. I snapped my head toward the window and saw the curtain still moving as if a breeze were somehow coming through the closed window.

  “Ian?” I whispered in fear but to my relief received no answer.

  Am I going to be a vampire too? Like you? Christian’s voice snapped me back.

  Yes. You will be exactly like me.

  Good.

  It was like him to be so calm…always so calm. Good, I’ll be a vampire, like you. As if that was the most normal thing in the world, like when he found out the truth about what I am. Even then he just accepted it. He wasn’t disgusted. He didn’t run away screaming like I’d expected him to do. Any other man would have run without a backward glance, but not Christian.

  As the hours passed, I heard talking in the living room, where I knew everyone was gathered, waiting for Christian and me to reenter. They knew it would be any minute now. I never felt as anxious in all my years as I did now, waiting for him. How changed was he going to be as a vampire? Would his love for me change? Would he resent me? Would he leave me because of it?

  “Never.” His voice was hoarse but it was his voice. I jumped off the bed again. “I will never leave you.”

  “Oh my God! How do you feel? Can you move? Are you okay? Do you need help? Should I get…?” I rattled off questions in my nervousness.

  He cleared his throat. “One question at a time, please. I feel…different…strange. I think I can move but I might need help. Should you get what?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. Relief washed over me as I sat back on the bed. I grasped both his hands and pulled him to a sitting position. He pushed his body forward to assist me as I pulled and fell off the end of the bed with a loud thump. Within seconds, the door flew open and Kalia and Fiore were in the room, wide eyed.

  “What happened?” Fiore asked, looking from Christian to me with her mouth open.

  “I guess I didn’t know my own strength,” Christian answered with a laugh.

  This time, Kalia and Fiore helped him to his feet while I stood frozen, unsure of what to do next.

  “Kalia, let’s leave them alone for a while. They’ll come out when they’re ready.” Fiore took Kalia by the hand and pulled her out of the room before she could respond.

  Christian stood at the foot of the bed. The sight of him took my breath away, as it always had, but this time was different. His blue eyes looked somehow bluer, deeper, more intense. It felt as if he were staring straight through me and into at my soul. His dirty blonde hair looked darker against the paleness of his flawless face. He seemed taller, though I’m sure that was all in my head. When he spoke, his voice sounded deeper, sexier, as if that were even possible. I stood still, unsure of what to do, and stared with my mouth hanging open. I couldn’t force myself to close it, let alone will my legs to walk.

  “Okay then. I’ll come to you.” And he did. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt myself collapse against his chest. His hand went into my hair and it no longer felt hot against my skin. He kissed the top of my head. I relaxed in his embrace.

  “I can’t believe this. I thought…”

  “Shh…I know. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ll always be here,” Christian reassured me.

  He backed away enough to look at my face. Again the sight of his perfection took my breath away. His lips met mine with a fire I didn’t expect from his cold body. Everything that happened in the last day melted away with the heat of his mouth. My whole body went limp but he wasn’t going to let me fall. I knew that. He would never let me fall.

  We parted slowly, not wanting our kiss to end but knowing everyone was waiting for us and there were still things we needed to discuss. As much as I wanted it at that moment, we were not the only ones there. His hands held mine as he led me to the side of the bed and we sat on the edge.

  “How
are you feeling now?” I asked.

  “Dizzy from that kiss.” He smiled. “I’m thirsty, though. It feels like my throat is on fire.”

  I swallowed hard before I spoke. I knew I was going to have to deal with this but I didn’t feel ready. “You need to feed.”

  “I don’t feel hungry. It’s…different. I hear this strange pulsing or humming in my ears.”

  “It’s not food you want. Your body is no longer alive. Your stomach won’t growl anymore. The smell of food won’t start your mouth watering. It’s blood you need.” I knew I wasn’t ready to teach him how to hunt, especially not humans, and hunting animals with Ryanne and Maia on the loose was not an option at the moment. “Will you settle for a little blood, for now?”

  “What do you mean?” He looked around the room as if searching for an answer.

  “I mean my blood.”

  His eyes widened. “I can do that?”

  I nodded and went to the desk in the corner of the room. I reached in the drawer and pulled out the letter opener. I sat next to him again. Sliding the edge of the opener across my wrist, gasping at the instant sting, I raised it to his mouth. “Drink.” I ignored the pain as his hands enclosed around mine and his lips clamped around the wound. His eyes locked on mine. I could feel the moistness of his tongue as he lapped the blood his body so desperately needed.

  My free hand reached his head and my fingers tousled his damp hair. If there was ever a more intimate moment between two people, I couldn’t imagine what it was. There could be nothing to bring us closer than my blood coursing through his veins. My head spun and a sudden chill shook my entire body but yet I felt like my body was on fire. He’d had my blood once before, when I used it to close a knife wound on his hand, but that had been out of necessity. The feeling had been desperation to heal him. This was pure desire.

  “That’s enough…for now. You’ll want to drink little bits at a time,” I explained, though I didn’t want it to end.

  He withdrew his mouth from my wrist and licked his lips, never taking his eyes off mine.